The Leap
Five and a half years ago, I was deeply immersed in my work as Associate Director of Enlace Comunitario. I had been there for over eight years, developing my skills and my professional identity, and helping to grow our budget from half a million to over two million dollars. Enlace was my heart and I was fully committed to the work that we did. Lately, however, I had started to get that feeling that it might be time to move on. I recently became a mother to my incredible son, Jonah, and he was occupying my heart. I began to notice that I no longer had the same stamina to engage in theoretical conversations (for example, about the ethics of fundraising or about how to eliminate rules that unintentionally controlled the clients that we served). And Enlace deserved someone with the zeal to wholeheartedly dive into those discussions. But what next? I tested the waters and took a small side contract writing grants. Once I saw that I could do it, the decision was easier.
But then the doubts. … Would I find a place where I was as effective? Would the professional network I worked so hard to develop forget about me? In the end, I leaned into trust -- trusting myself. I decided that I was unlikely to find another organization as amazing as Enlace, and so I decided to create my own. I would use the skills I had developed before and at Enlace to help other nonprofits increase their capacity. I took the leap. I gave my notice. In February 2015, I created Sandra Ortsman LLC. I furiously asked my friends if I was crazy. That first year was scary. I had to decipher what my gifts were and what my limitations were. I said yes a couple of times when I probably should have said no, but it helped me see what I liked and what I didn't enjoy.
Five years in, I can say that leaps are necessary. Leaps show us who we are. They make us dig in deep. They make us reflect honestly about where we need to grow. And, they invite us to own our greatness. Five years in, I am grateful to everyone who has supported me, everyone who knew I could do it when I wasn’t so sure. Five years in, I’ve grown. I’ve worked with incredible organizations and people I deeply respect. To my surprise, not only did I not lose my network, but it’s expanded tenfold. To my astounded delight, I was selected as a W.K.K.F. Community Leadership Network fellow. I created the balance of doing meaningful heart work, having time for my family, and taking care of myself.
Are you thinking about taking a leap? Breathe deep and go for it. You can do it, too.